fairy tales shed light on the psychology of young children. Original thesis : In this paper, I will discuss the relationship between fairy tales and early childhood. In order to ensure accurate reporting, journalists must understand the real significance of the statistics they report. Keep revising until the thesis reflects your real ideas. Compare the following: Original thesis : There are advantages and disadvantages to using statistics. "taxpayers and legislators alike can help fix." Original : "the media" Revised : "the new breed of television reporters "advertisers "hard-hitting print journalists "horror flicks "TV movies of the week "sitcoms "national public radio "Top 40 bop-til-you-drop." Original : "is, are, was, to be". Original thesis : We must save the whales. Revised thesis : Although the timber wolf is actually a timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated because people wrongfully believe it to be a fierce and cold-blooded killer. Don't settle for three pages of just skimming the surface. Otherwise why would your point matter?
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"and "but "or "for "nor "so "yet? Would a subordinating conjunction help (i.e. Original thesis : Socialism is the best form of government for Kenya. It signals a writer who has intelligence, commitment, and enthusiasm. About your thesis statement. Revised theses : Because modern cinematic techniques have allowed filmmakers to get more graphic, horror flicks have desensitized young American viewers to violence. If it's so timid and gentle - why is it being exterminated? Avoid abstract words such as "society values, or culture. By being as clear as possible in your thesis statement, you will make sure that your reader understands exactly what you mean. You should provide a thesis early in your essay - in the introduction, or in longer essays in the second paragraph - in order to establish your position and give your reader a sense of direction. To avoid misunderstandings, be as specific as possible.
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